Phoenix Burning
by patronusmagic
Summary: Sequel to APTCH. Harry has changed. A changeling child. Fresh from the horrors of the third task, Harry must learn to cope with the flashbacks and nightmares and unexpected bouts of anger. Can Sirius help to heal Harry? Or has the damage already gone too far?
1. Chapter 1

**Well, this is it! The sequel to A Place To Call Home! I hope you enjoy and sorry for taking so long to get it up!**

**Disclaimer: I get tired of writing these so I'm only going to say it once. I do NOT own Harry Potter. As you all could tell.**

**Phoenix Burning**

_Patronusmagic_

_Chapter One- The Changeling Child_

The waxing moon shone upon the breast of the steep hill. The trees whispered in the gentle summer breeze which carried the smell of honeysuckle and fresh air along the narrow country lanes. Somewhere in the distance, an owl coed and swooped down, having spotted its prey.

The blue, grey moonlight travelled down a narrow lane, that was lined with dandelions and thick patches of scrubby grass, littered with the occasional thatch of buttercups and thick, dry mud that had dried in the summer heat.

Further down, seemingly popping out of nowhere, a house stood tall and proud. It was more house than cottage with its cobbled walls and brown lattice fencing which stood either side of the front door, honeysuckle growing in rhythmic patterns.

Inside, the house was in darkness, save for the light of a single candle that sat upon the bedside of a teenage boy. Said teenage boy was tossing and turning in his bed, face screwed up in anguish as his limbs became entangled within the blankets. One hand clutched at the blankets, screwing them up and the other twitched as if he was fighting away invisible attackers.

He whimpered and mumbled, lost in the fitful dreams of the horrors he had experienced. The boy was Harry Potter. Just last month, Harry had been the victim of a malicious kidnapping. The kidnapping in question had been undertaken by Lord Voldemort, most evil wizard in the history of the wizarding world.

Harry had escaped with his life, but barely. He had been in a coma for nearly a week and then had to face the harsh reality of what had happened. Also, his close friend, Cedric had been hit with a spell that simulated death and they had yet to find the counter curse to reawaken him. Ever since the incident, Harry had been faced with horrific nightmares and flashbacks that left him gasping for breath.

Nobody said it but they all knew. Harry had changed. A changeling child.

The whimpers grew in volume, reaching a crescendo. Any moment now, he would start screaming but still would not reawaken. Any moment now, Sirius, Harry's godfather would burst in and desperately try to rouse the traumatised teen. Then, like most nights, they would go downstairs and Sirius would vainly try to get Harry to talk.

Almost on cue, a loud scream tore at Harry's throat and the sound of a door banging open down the hallway echoed through the house, followed by thundering footsteps and the click of a light switch. The door flew open and the yellow, artificial light flooded into the room, framing Sirius Black in the doorway, looking distinctly ruffled.

He paused for a moment. Eyes dark with sadness before he rushed over and perched himself upon the edge of Harry's bed. He reached out and shook his godsons warm shoulder. Je shook gently.

"Come on, Harry. Wake up. It's all right, you're safe," Sirius begged in a loud but soothing voice.

Harry took no notice as he continued to writhe and flail in his bed, batting frantically at his blankets and kicking out at something that Sirius could not see. His young face was bathed in sweat and his clothes clung to his back like a second skin.

"Cedric, Mum. No," Harry whimpered, arching his back.

Sirius' heart broke but he remained strong as he continued to try and rouse Harry.

"C'mon, Mate. It's just a dream. Wake up for me, Harry," Sirius' voice cracked and he had to blink away the dewy moisture that had developed there.

Harry shuddered and sat up suddenly, taking Sirius by surprise. Wild eyes surveyed every corner of the room, as if searching for some attacker. His hair was tousled and stuck up at the back like he'd spent the night running his hands through it, he was violently shaking and took several large gulps of oxygen before slumping against his pillows and running a shaky hand over his eyes.

"'M sorry, I woke you up." Harry mumbled, not opening his eyes, knowing Sirius was there.

"I was already awake," Sirius lied. "how are you feeling?"

Harry shrugged but didn't answer. In all honesty, he felt terrified. He spent every waking minute jumping at the smallest noise and trying to avoid people. It was as if the people he once loved and trusted were out to get him and it scared him.

"Do you want to talk about it, yet?" Sirius asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," Harry shook his head.

"Okay then,"

Harry felt immensely grateful that Sirius wasn't pushing him to talk. He just didn't feel ready. If he opened his mouth and spilled his guts, the memories would assault him and he wasn't sure he'd get through the other side alive. No, it was better to just forget. Or try to, at least.

"How about a cup of tea?" Sirius suggested, looking careworn and jaded.

Slowly, Harry nodded. A cup of tea wouldn't hurt. It helped to relax him. He followed Sirius from his dark bedroom out into the harshly lit hallway and down the stairs. His feet stuck to the cold linoleum as he padded across the kitchen and seated himself on a chair.

Sirius had his back to him, shoulders hunched as he clattered around making tea. Outside an owl hooted, causing Harry to jump out of his skin and clutch at the table in fear. Clear as day, a flashback ripped through him like a tsunami.

_He was bound and gagged to the headstone. He could taste the damp material of the gag and feel the ropes digging into him, cutting off his circulation. A cold breeze ruffled his hair and tickled his exposed neck and he thought he might vomit as the cold stares of Voldemort's men focused on him through the masks. Through the gloom, stepped a man many had believed to be dead._

He felt Sirius' hand on his shoulder, warm and heavy and somehow reassuring. He jerked himself from the flashback and offered Sirius a weak grin. It made his face ache to do so but he offered one nonetheless.

Sirius plonked the steaming mug in front of him and sat opposite him at the thick, scrubbed table, watching as he sipped the scalding liquid. Harry could see the question in his eyes. The worry. The pity. He knew that Sirius – and Remus – both wanted to know what had happened in that graveyard, they'd heard it before but they wanted to hear it again.

He couldn't. He couldn't tell them. The horrors that he'd experienced in that graveyard were not to be repeated. It was bad enough that he had random flashbacks, that every noise set him on edge and he had scarily realistic nightmares without bringing it up in his few moments of respite as well.

Harry clutched the mug to his chest, watching as the steam rose from the cup in dizzying spirals, just visible in the crepuscular light of the kitchen. Moonlight filtered through a crack in the yellow curtains and Harry found himself focusing on that, anything to get away from his thoughts.

"Harry, I," Sirius began.

"I want to go see Cedric," Harry muttered, placing the untouched tea on the table and looking into Sirius' eyes.

Sirius' face fell. He rubbed his neck uncomfortably and cleared his throat. It was obvious that Sirius wasn't comfortable with the idea. A low buzzing had filled the room, combined with the tweeting of the birds as the sun slowly rose over the fields and bled life into the dark house.

"Harry," Sirius said uncomfortably, "I'd love to take you to see Cedric. But don't you think it's too soon?"

Harry frowned moodily and pushed the mug away from him. Tea sloshed over the sides and onto the table. It would probably leave a stain. Harry found that he didn't care very much. He scowled and looked down at the mess he'd created.

"Yeah, yeah. It's too soon, I get it. I need time to _heal!" _Harry spat, clenching his fist. "have you never stopped for just one second, Sirius to think that I need this. I did this to Cedric. It's my fault he's in a coma."

He didn't know where the rage was coming from but found that he couldn't stop it. It was like it had all built up over time and he was just now ready to blow his top, Merlin help anyone who gets in his way.

"Harry, you know that's not true. It was Voldemort's fault, Voldemort's not yours. You need to stop blaming yourself,"

Far from calming him, as Harry imagined what Sirius was going for, this enraged Harry. A great ball of anger burnt in Harry's gut and refused to be dislodged.

"I don't _need_ to do anything," Harry yelled, standing up abruptly and sending his chair clattering to the ground.

Sirius winced and stood up, making his way slowly to the teenager who was slowly backing towards the door, breathing heavily and sweating profusely.

"Look, I didn't mean it like that, Harry. Sit down, we can talk. Or just sit, whatever you want, I'm here for-,"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY YOU'RE HERE FOR ME! DON'T YOU DARE. DIDN'T YOU KNOW, SIRIUS, THE PEOPLE WHO ARE HERE FOR ME USUALLY END UP DEAD!"

The door burst open and Remus rushed in, sandy hair dishevelled and one pyjama leg riding up, revealing several inches of hairy leg. He looked from Harry, who was breathing heavily and looking at Sirius as if he would murder him and to Sirius himself, who looked at a loss of what to do. His arms were held up in a placating manner and his warm eyes held hurt and concern. A potent mix.

"What's going on in here?" Remus asked calmly.

"Nothing!" Harry glared at him and barged past, knocking his shoulder as he did so.

Moments later, his bedroom door slammed, shaking the house to its very roots. Sirius slowly sank down in a chair, beckoning a nonplussed Remus to do the same.

"What do I do, Remus? How do I help him?"

Remus shook his head. Honestly. He didn't know. Finally, he leant forward and fixed his eyes on Sirius.

"You fight for him, Sirius. You bring back the old Harry,"

Sirius nodded and said no more. Easier said than done, Remus, old friend. Fir Harry had changed rather harshly. The incident in that maze had taken the Harry they all knew and loved and replaced him with an alien.

A changeling child.

**Short chapter but it's only the prologue. Next chapter might take a while but it might not. Stay tuned for more!**


	2. Terrors of the Night

**Phoenix Burning**

_Patronusmagic_

_Chapter Two – Terrors of the Night_

As the days passed, Harry's mood hadn't improved in the slightest. In fact, it seemed to have deteriorated. He often wandered about the house in a daze and would jump at the slightest sound. Harry didn't say anything but he knew Remus and Sirius were worried.

Nights were the worst, where the horrors of the graveyard haunted both his sleeping and waking moments. He tossed and turned, entangled in his thin sheets, coated in a thick coating of sweat, mouth locked open in a silent scream. Cedric's horrified face as the curse hit him seemed to be engraved deep in Harry's mind and no matter what he did – he just couldn't get rid of it.

The weather outside was bright and warm but Harry remained ensconced in the house. He just couldn't bring himself to leave. He was terrified that if he stepped foot outside, Voldemort would swoop down upon him and take him back to that night.

On several occasions, Sirius had tried to talk to him. Remus had tried to talk to him but he didn't respond, electing instead to walk from the room, ignoring the stares he could feel burning into the back of his head.

Late Saturday afternoon found Harry sitting hunched in the kitchen, still in his pyjamas as he stared blankly at three letters addressed to him. He would recognise that writing anywhere. It was Rons, Hermione's and for some reason – Professor Dumbledore's.

Harry had no idea why the wizened headmaster would be writing to him and he had no interest to find out. A part of him blamed Dumbledore for what had happened in that maze. The same part that wanted to kick and scream and rage and then crawl away and hibernate until all this was over.

The door burst open and Harry dove out of his chair, the chair clattered to the floor, echoing loudly in the spacious kitchen. He gripped his wand tight in his hand and whirled around, wand trained upon the person who had just entered. All rational thought left him as his vision blurred and he backed himself into a corner, sweaty hands scrabbling at the cool walls as he backed away from the person.

They seemed to be getting closer and Harry felt his heart beat faster. His lip trembled and his stomach felt like it was going to expel its meagre contents everywhere. In his panic fuddled state, he couldn't see who it was that was approaching him. He only saw the danger.

His back hit the wall and he slid to the ground, hands held over his face, wand still clutched tightly. His T-shirt clung to his back like a second skin and he was consciously aware of the heavy breathing of the person.

_Wormtail's breath was heavy as he tied him to the headstone. His grip stone cold._

"No, please," Harry whimpered, wand clattering to the ground. "please don't hurt me."

The person had paused and Harry felt them slowly crouch down beside him. He tensed, preparing himself for an attack when he felt a gentle hand on his arm.

"Harry?"

Harry's heart slowed a trifle. Just enough to look into the worried eyes of Sirius Black, his godfather. He let out a sigh of relief and leant heavily against the wall. That was the third time that week he'd acted like that.

"Sirius?" Harry whispered, voice hoarse from lack of use.

Since the incident. Harry had rarely spoken. He feared that if he did so, then the full horror of what he had experienced would be revealed.

"Harry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," Sirius whispered, sitting down next to his godson and tenderly wrapping an arm around his skinny shoulders.

Harry flinched and leaned into the comfort simultaneously. Sirius rested his head atop Harry's messy mop and sighed deeply.

"I-it's not your fault," Harry whispered. "you didn't know that would happen."

"I know but nonetheless . . ."

"What's wrong with me, Sirius?" Harry asked, turning so as to look into his godfathers weathered face.

Sirius' face crumpled and for a minute, Harry thought he might burst into tears. That frightened him above anything. What could possibly reduce the strong, resilient Sirius Black to tears? Instead, the man swallowed and pulled Harry close to him, resting his chin on Harry's head.

"I think perhaps we should speak to Professor Dumbledore," Sirius murmured, a deep rumbling coming from his chest and soothing Harry somehow.

Harry nodded sleepily as the smell of Sirius' Old Spice aftershave and the thrum of his heart lulled him into a gentle sleep. He was only slightly aware of Sirius lifting him up and placing him on something soft and warm.

-xxx-

"_He's been having nightmares for weeks now,"_

"_And mood swings,-"_

"_He just sort of zones out and rarely talks anymore,-"_

"_What could this be, Albus?" _

"_Alas, Remus. I do not know. It is certainly intriguing. Perhaps you could indulge me in speaking with the boy?"_

Harry's eyes fluttered open as gentle voices fluttered through his unconscious mind. The room was in low light, only just showing three hunched figures by the light of the fire. Professor Dumbledore's being the most prominent. He sat tall and proud in the plush armchair.

His azure robes flowed freely around him and his eyes twinkled with a strange kind of light. Across the coffee table, sat Remus and Sirius – both wearing identical expressions of an emotion Harry couldn't quite work out without his glasses.

"Ah, he's awake," Dumbledore said cheerfully when he spotted Harry. He threw his arms wide and smiled genially at the young teen.

Despite his feelings towards the centurion headmaster, Harry couldn't help but feel a slight warmth at the sight of him. Harry sat up, wiping the sleep from his eyes as he did so. Sirius rushed over and gently sat down next to him, laying a hand on his forehead.

"How are you feeling, Harry?" Sirius asked gently, removing his hand.

"Fine," Harry lied. He turned to Dumbledore and nodded as a way of greeting.

"Harry my boy, I must say you're looking rather bedraggled," Dumbledore said sadly.

_Thanks. _Harry thought sarcastically. Beside him, Sirius drew in a deep, annoyed breath. He smiled to himself, it seemed that he wasn't the only one annoyed with his headmaster.

"I'm _fine_," Harry enunciated, putting emphasis on 'Fine' "don't worry about me."

"But alas, my boy. That is impossible. I came here this afternoon in the hopes that we could have a talk. Would that be desirable to you?"

Harry looked into the blue eyes of his headmaster and was tempted to say no. but of course, he didn't. He would live up to the image that everybody seemed to be having of Harry. The polite doormat that he had been for the past three years.

"Of course, Sir," Harry said tightly. Formally. "but Sirius and Remus stay."

Dumbledore nodded his head in consent and settled himself deeper in the chair. Remus sat down next to Sirius and smiled kindly at Harry as he did so.

"Harry, my dear boy. I must start off my offering my humblest apologies. What you experienced in that maze should not have happened. I feel that the blame lays solely with me."

Harry nodded and said nothing, mulling over Dumbledore's words.

"Who was it?" Harry asked bluntly.

It had been bugging him for weeks. He had never actually found out who had put his name in that cup. Next to him, Remus and Sirius shifted uncomfortably and Dumbledore's eyes dulled.

"Harry, I feel that you're not ready to know,-"

"With all due respect, Sir. I have the right to know. It was _me _it happened to after all," Harry said coolly.

Dumbledore sighed sadly and nodded. He looked as if the words that were about to come out of his mouth would be extremely painful.

"It was Mad-Eye Moody. Or so he had us believe," he added at the shocked expression on Harry's face. "it was in fact young Barty Crouch Junior, whom had been posing as Moody all year. It was he who put your name into the Goblet, Harry."

Harry turned to Sirius, whose lips were pressed into a thin line and seemed to be shaking with anger and to Remus who looked as pale as a sheet.

"Sorry, but who is he? I didn't know that Mr Crouch had a son.."

Harry trailed off, leaving the sentence hanging thickly in the air like the drapes that hung on the windows.

"Ah, this is where it gets complicated. Barty Crouch Jr. Was indeed Mr Crouch's son. Shortly after you were taken off to the hospital wing, I noticed the defence professor acting very strangely. I invited him to my office under the pretence of discussing a plan of action,-" Dumbledore paused and looked to Sirius for consent to continue. Sirius nodded stiffly.

"Once there, I cast a spell upon him that would reveal his true form and it was revealed as none other than Barty Crouch Junior. With help from Professor Snape, I managed to procure some Veritaserum and the truth came out.

"Barty Crouch Junior had been incarcerated in Azkaban for several years. He was put there for the torture of Frank and Alice Longbottom," here – Dumbledore paused, waiting for Harry to make the connection. He did so and stiffened. Horrified. "Have you ever wondered why Mr Longbottom lives with his grandmother?"

"I well, I never really thought to ask," Harry admitted apologetically.

A deep stirring of guilt had lodged itself in his gut. After knowing Neville for four years, he had never once thought of the reason for his living with his grandmother.

"A common mistake indeed, Harry. Now young Mr Crouch, along with Mrs Bellatrix Lestrange, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange broke into the Longbottoms' house shortly after the fall of Voldemort, they subjected Mr Longbottoms parents to the Cruciatus Curse and as such, they were insane by the time help came. Now, Mr Crouch was caught and sentenced to Azkaban by his very own father."

Harry frowned. Horrified. His own father had sent him to Azkaban? He didn't know much about Muggle law but he did know that in the Muggle world, if somebody was being tried, any family members on the jury or the defence would not be allowed top be involved. It seemed very strange to Harry that Crouch Senior had been allowed to do so.

"Sorry, Sir," said Harry pro forma. "but what has this got to do with anything?"

Dumbledore nodded respectfully and for the first time ever, Harry realised how old Dumbledore truly looked.

"I'm getting there, my boy. Now under interrogation, Mr Crouch admitted to switching places with his mother whom had been suffering from ill health for quite some time. Mr Crouch Senior subdued young Barty with the imperius curse but the curse weakened over time, thus allowing him to escape and capture Alastor Moody.

"This resulted in him stumbling upon Lord Voldemort and thus placing your name in the Goblet. I'm truly sorry, my boy. Deeply. Could you forgive an old man's shortcomings?"

Harry looked into the eyes of the old headmaster and saw a deep sadness that scared Harry above anything. Dumbledore had always been such a stoic man that Harry never really thought of him as having feelings. Slowly, he nodded.

"Thank you, Harry. Thank you." Dumbledore said softly, bowing his head.

"Er, headmaster. Perhaps we should talk about what we discussed?" Sirius said pointedly. Remus nodded in agreement.

"Ah yes. You are absolutely right. Perhaps you should start, Sirius?"

Sirius nodded and squeezed Harry's shoulder. Cold tendrils of panic were spreading through Harry's veins like blood, squeezing icy fingers around his heart. A loud roaring filled his ears and the very walls seemed to be closing in on him. They wanted to talk about the nightmares. He should have known as soon as he'd woken that they would want to talk.

His eyes spun wildly around the room, searching for an escape route. He couldn't talk about this. A cold sweat was dripping down his back and the room was spinning like some kind of funfair ride. His heart faltered when his eyes faltered and he found himself staring into the eyes of someone that was currently in a comatose position, hundreds of miles away.

There, standing in the corner, looking as cold and pale as death. Was Cedric Diggory.

**Can anybody guess what is up with Harry? A dedication to the person that guesses correctly. As always, thanks for the reviews! **

**~ Patronus**


	3. Every Rose Has Its Thorn

**Phoenix Burning**

_Patronusmagic_

**A Special dedication to xXLoverOrHaterXx for being the first to correctly guess that Harry is suffering from PTSD. And to everybody else that guessed correctly, great job. You all guessed right to some agree.**

**Chapter Three- **Every Rose Has Its Thorn

"Let's go on holiday,"

Harry blinked and looked up from his book on Herb's and Fungi to see Sirius grinning hopefully at him. It had been another bad week for Harry in the way of nightmares, flashbacks and spotting Cedric's ghost, even though the boy in question was still in a deep sleep in the hospital wing.

In the past few weeks, Harry had struggled to control his temper and on several occasions, had flown spectacularly off the handle, even at the smallest of things. Sirius was getting rather stressed out trying to control Harry's moods and Harry felt guilty but he just could not control it. He narrowed his eyes slightly and sat up on his bed, hugging his knees.

"By the seaside, come on, the fresh air will do you good," Sirius pleaded, coming further into the room and sitting gingerly on the end of his bed so as not to trigger on of Harry's explosions as they had taken to calling them.

Harry thought about it. Perhaps a holiday was just what he needed. Somewhere by the sea. Something to distract him from his thoughts, even if it was only for a weekend. Maybe the sea air would help him to clear his head and gain some closure from what had happened to him in June. Slowly, he nodded. He said nothing, but Sirius looked gleeful as he smiled at his godson.

"Great, I'll go and have a look what's on offer, why don't you go and fly out back? I'll call you when lunch is ready."

Harry agreed, albeit reluctantly. He didn't want to go outside, he felt safer inside but he also knew that he couldn't stay cooped up inside all summer. Besides, it was a gloriously, sunny day and his Firebolt sat in the corner, almost begging to be used. He sighed and nodded but once again said nothing. He hadn't felt the need to talk and thankfully, Sirius didn't push him to do so.

Sirius beamed and left the room, humming merrily. Harry shook his head and gathered up his Firebolt and his wand, sticking it firmly in his wand holster so as not to lose it and be caught unawares if anybody were to attack him. Rule one of safety, have your wand on you at all times.

He'd come up with these rules himself, when he'd awoken after a particularly nasty nightmare. As he whimpered and panted as the last remnants of panic left him, something inside of him had snapped and he'd come up with the safety rules. There were ten of them altogether.

Rule one, have your wand on you at all times. You never knew when somebody was going to catch you unawares and it would do you no good if you were attacked and you had no way to protect yourself.

Rule two, Constant Vigilance. Mad-Eye's impostor had given at least some useful advice and that was to always be aware. Never let anybody catch you off guard, you had to be fully aware and on your toes.

Rule three, treat everybody as a threat. Trust absolutely no one, you never knew who was going to stab you in the back and turn you into your enemies for their own selfish reasons. His parents were testament to that.

Rule four; learn other means of protecting oneself. Not just magic. Learn muggle self defence techniques and dodges. It may save your life in the long run. Harry had practiced several self defence books that he'd bought from the local muggle shop on one of his excursions with Sirius and they had worked relatively well.

Rule five, treat every day as if you were going into battle, you never knew when that day would come and you would want to be prepared and fight with all you had.

Rule six, learn wandless and wordless magic. It gave the element of surprise to your opponent and could give you the chance to escape if winning the battle were futile. He'd been practicing wandless magic since he got back from Hogwarts and making slow progress, Hermione would be proud were it not for the circumstances that he was learning it in the first place.

Rule seven; don't be afraid to attack first. If you saw something as a threat, then don't hesitate in attacking. It could be the difference between you being alive and leaving the place in a body bag. Luckily for Harry, there had been no situations in which this rule came in handy. Yet.

Rule eight; learn both muggle and magic first aid methods. It was imperative that Harry be at his full strength if he ever were to get into a conflict that could cause physical injury and even death. He'd studied these diligently and was fairly confident in his ability to give himself treatment should the need arise.

Rule nine; keep fit. If ever there was a situation that you needed to run from your opponent, it wouldn't do to be panting and wheezing every five seconds. Harry had taken to running laps in his bedroom, to the point where he thought he may pass out.

Rule ten; Stay on the lookout for danger wherever you went. This was similar to rule two but Harry had jotted it down anyway. It was now on a crumpled and wrinkled piece of paper, tucked safely out of sight under his mattress so that Sirius wouldn't find it.

The sun hit his face hit Harry's face when he entered their rather spacious back garden. It was in full bloom, plants both magical and muggle swaying gently in a gentle breeze that ruffled Harry's hair. Then smell of honeysuckle and a subtle hint of roses hit Harry's nose and he closed his eyes and allowed the moment of tranquillity to wash over him.

He picked his way through the crazy paving garden path to the little nook at the top of the garden that held an old wooden bench that had been overrun with ivy and a stone statue that may once have been a cherub. Gardening never was Sirius' forte.

He sat back and tilted his face to the sun, closing his eyes and allowing the rays to hit his face. He didn't realise until now, how much he had missed the sun, and the garden and even the paddock and stream out the back of the house where he could fly and climb in the trees, watching as the world went by.

He gave a tired sigh and opened his eyes, assessing the garden lazily. In all honesty, he could just fall asleep right here, in this charming little garden with the funny little gnomes and the wooden bench soft with rot and algae. He was so tired but he just couldn't sleep. A creak in the bushes had his attention within milliseconds.

He jumped up, wand in hand, heart in mouth as he assessed the garden for signs of danger. He heard nothing but his frantically and the rustling of the bush as he pointed his wand towards the source of danger. Slowly, cautiously, he approached it and jabbed at the bush. Hard.

Perhaps it was a foolish thing to do but fear and adrenaline had taken over him and he wasn't thinking straight. A spark erupted from his wand and the bush erupted into flames, a high pitched squealing emitted from the bush and a little gnome rushed out, clutching at a slightly smoking backside and howling. Harry backed off guiltily and watched with mounting horror and mesmerisation as the flames grew higher and were in serious danger of catching onto the rest of the plant life in the garden. The back door flew open and Harry fell back, flinching as he threw his hands over his head.

Loud thumping footfalls approached him and he curled into a ball, and clutched tightly at his wand, so tightly that he feared it may snap in half in his sweaty grasp. Thick acrid smoke was starting to fill the garden and he could hear grunting and swearing as someone tried to put the rather impressive fire out.

Finally, the blistering heat died down and so did the smoke. Harry uncurled from the ball and looked sheepishly up at Sirius, who was looking down at him in slight amusement and concern. He breathed a sigh of relief; he thought that he was done for.

"Blimey, Harry. Don't turn into a pyromaniac."

Harry stared curiously up at Sirius and to his surprise; his once handsome face was quirked into an amused grin. Sirius wasn't mad? He tentatively took Sirius' outstretched hand and peered at him curiously. His own lips quirked into a smile and soon they were both laughing.

"I don't know, Harry. What did that bush ever do to you?"

Harry shook his head and sniggered. It was the first time he'd laughed in weeks and in all honesty it felt good. He shrugged and offered Sirius a sheepish grin.

"I don't know, it was just giving me evils, it had to go," he quipped, nodding to the now blackened and charred bush which was now in a rather woebegone state.

"Ah, I see well please don't ever set me on fire if you feel I'm giving you 'evils" Sirius joked, patting Harry on the shoulder.

Harry smiled and shook his head as Sirius burst into peals of laughter again.

"Well, I can safely say I'm glad my 'bush' with death is over!" Sirius chortled.

Harry rolled his eyes at Sirius' lame attempt at a joke and lightly pushed him.

"Seriously? In the world of bush related humour you go with 'bush with death?" Harry sniggered at Sirius' rather sheepish look.

"You try and come up with one on the spot! It's harder than it looks!" Sirius said sulkily, crossing his arms like a petulant toddler.

Harry snorted and crossed his arms back, raising an eyebrow at his godfather.

"I could but I'm very bushy at the moment!"

Sirius snorted at Harry's lame joke. "Oh ha-ha, very droll. Very punny indeed!"

Just like that, they were laughing again. For those five minutes, Harry forgot everything. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the hallucinations as he laughed with his godfather. It would all come flooding back but eventually. But for now, he would revel in the moment and he would damn well enjoy it. While he still could.

-xxx-

Sirius, it transpired had gone Muggle and booked a week's holiday in Muggle Blackpool. Harry, who had never been to the seaside before was strangely excited about the approaching holiday. Sirius and Remus who would also be attending also had a childlike excitement at the thought of spending a week looking at the Blackpool Illuminations.

They had spent the week packing everything they thought they would need. Harry being the sensible soul that he is, packed clothes, swimming trunks and books, as did Remus. Whereas Sirius, who was a bit daft packed robes until Remus took pity on him and packed normal muggle clothes.

Despite the excitement, Harry had the constant feel of impending doom, a feeling that he just could not shake. He was still jittery and on edge bit tried to hide it from his godfather and surrogate uncle for fear of ruining what was sure to be a lovely holiday. Even so, Harry took an extra dose of dreamless sleep the night before they were due to go away, so as to not be tired on their journey tomorrow from the nightmares.

That night, as the effects of the potion took hold of his body, Harry felt more peaceful than he had in weeks. As he listened to the birds singing outside his window and the steady, low whistle of the wind, Harry fell asleep.

-xxx-

It was blazing hot when Harry woke the next morning, so hot in fact that the sheets stuck to his sweaty skin unpleasantly. He groaned and kicked the covers off of him in the hope of tempting a non existent breeze to cool his boiling skin. Today was going to be torture in this heat. He clambered gingerly out of bed, his feet touching the warm carpet as he made his way slowly to the bathroom, where it was mercifully cool.

It must have been boiling outside for Harry's skin was red and puffy, a sure sign that the temperature outside was in its mid thirties. His hair was plastered to his head and sopping wet and a thin trickle of sweat dripped down his forehead. He groaned and pressed his forehead against the cool porcelain of the bathroom skin and allowed the cold to seep into his skin, sighing in relief.

After a cold shower and he'd put on some shorts and a T-shirt, Harry made his way downstairs, not even bothering with socks. When he arrived in the kitchen, Sirius was sitting at the table, fanning himself vigorously with the Daily Prophet and pulling a rather loud Hawaiian shirt away from his body as it stuck to him with sweat. It was only marginally cooler in the kitchen. Remus was leaning against the kitchen counter, looking strange in a white polo shirt and denim shorts that went to his knees.

"Hot, Harry?" Sirius said amusedly as Harry grabbed a glass of pumpkin juice and downed it without swallowing.

He nodded but didn't say a word as Remus put scrambled eggs and toast onto his plate, which he wolfed down gratefully.

"We were just talking about the time Jamie, Moony and I went to Great Yarmouth one year with your mother," Sirius said, smiling fondly.

"We were indeed," Remus smiled. "If I do recall, a crab latched onto your foot and you screamed like a little girl and kicked your foot so the crab went flying and hit some poor old lady on the head."

Sirius sniggered sheepishly and helped himself to another slice of toast, buttering it thickly. Harry sat back and listened as the two marauders regaled him with tales of their excursions to the seaside.

"The funny thing was, James didn't know it was in there and ate it and then threw up!" Remus said as Sirius roared with laughter. "The poor sod never ate Ice Cream again."

Harry wiped tears of mirth from his eyes and sat back in his seat, clutching his belly which hurt from laughing so much. Soon enough, the house was all packed up and they were on their way to Blackpool in a rather beaten down family van, seeing as Sirius had insisted upon doing in 'The Muggle Way'.

The smile slid off of Harry's face as he watched the British countryside speeding by, making way for tall, sprawling building blocks and then disappearing into countryside again. The sun was still shining but for the first time it didn't reach Harry as the dark thoughts threatened to consume him. He didn't know what was wrong with him, he had been perfectly happy the previous morning, talking excitedly about the holiday with Sirius and Remus and discussing what they were going to do when they got there.

It seemed that every time something good happened recently, the dark thoughts invaded and dampened his mood considerably. Every rose has its thorn, after all. You just have to make the most of the beautiful delicate petals and handle the stork, with the deadly thorns on with care, not avoid but hold it gently. That was something Sirius had said, in other words, make the most of the good but never ignore the bad for it made you who you were, the thorn was part of the rose as much as the bad stuff was a part of you.

Harry hunkered down in his seat and watched the sky speed by idly listening to Sirius' and Remus' conversation and only nodding when either man tried to engage him in the conversation. He let a small smile on to his face, he would be all right. No matter what happened, he wouldn't let it win.

-xxx

**Well, that's it, just short of 3,000 words. I'm sorry I took so long to update but life has been manic at the moment. Next chapter will be the holiday and Harry finally having some fun, because, let's face it – he deserves it. As always, please let me know what you think. I cherish every single review, fave and follow. **


	4. Harry's First Holiday

**Phoenix Burning**

_Patronusmagic_

* * *

**Chapter Four**- _Harry's First Holiday_

The late afternoon sun beamed through the windows of the family van and warmed Harry's face as they sped through wild countryside. The window had long since been thrown wide open in the vain hope that it would tempt a non existent breeze to fly through the windows and cool down their burning skin.

Harry sighed in relief as they turned a corner into a road that was heavily shaded by trees on each side that reached over with their branches, twisted and gnarled with age and tangled with the trees on the other side, making for a very eerie sight. Through the tree, spots of sunlight fell through the gaps, causing dappled green light to fall upon their skin.

As the extremely long journey progressed, Harry felt him becoming restless with excitement. This was the first time he'd ever been on holiday since he could remember. The Dursleys always went, but they would leave Harry with his batty neighbour Mrs Figg. Every year, Harry would have to endure endless taunts from his tanned cousin, Dudley on what he'd done on holiday and watch on in jealousy as Dudley tried out a new toy that had been bought when he was on holiday.

"Nearly there," said Sirius, consulting the large map that was spread out on his lap. He turned and grinned at Harry from the front seat. "You'll be able to smell the sea soon!"

Harry grinned back at his godfather but settled for leaning against the warm window and staring out at the countryside as it became lusher and greener and the roads became smoother. He smiled as he could see farmhouses in the distance, lush green striped fields and the occasional scarecrow, ripped robes flapping ever so slightly in a non existent breeze. To Harry's amusement, a large sparrow sat on the head of the scarecrow.

Sure enough, as Sirius had predicted, the smell of manure and cabbages made way for the fresh, salty smell that could only be sea air as Remus manoeuvred the van into a small village that reminded Harry of a Muggle version of Hogsmeade, the sign that protruded from the grass verge on the side of the road read _"Welcome to Catton Village, please drive carefully"_

Sirius grinned widely and turned in his seat to face Harry. His face seemed to be sparkling with some kind of nostalgia that confused Harry. What could this little village with the cobble streets and thatched houses cause such a look in his godfather?

"This is where your dad lived, Harry. When he was a child."

Harry's eyebrows knitted together as he stared out at the quaint little village. They came passed a stone monument and Sirius smiled sympathetically at Harry as he stared out at the place where his father had grown up.

He wanted to get out and explore. He wanted to walk the cobbled streets that his father once had, did his father attend primary school here? Where was his house? Indeed, was it still standing. Sirius who seemed to have read Harry's mind, whispered something to Remus, who nodded and pulled into a small car park, parking the car and turning off the engine.

"Shall we?" said Sirius, hand on the door handle, grinning at Harry.

Harry's throat constricted as he looked at Sirius. He was really going to see the place where his father had grown up. He smiled and nodded, unable to speak as he looked at the small village through the window.

Sirius and Remus smiled as they got out of the car into the blistering heat, Harry following suit. The heat hit Harry's face as soon as his feet hit the gravel but he barely noticed it as he stared around him in awe at what he was seeing.

Thatched houses lined the cobbled street that ran down to a stone war monument and around a church that towered above all the houses, the stained glass twinkling merrily in the sunlight and casting colours upon the old graves that sat in front of it. Harry swallowed. Were his parents buried here?

The cobbled road spanned at a fork at the church, making a T shape that wriggled far out of sight towards the wild countryside that served as a backdrop, peeking through the trees in the distance, Harry could just make out out a sliver of silver that could possibly be the ocean.

"Come on," Sirius beckoned him with his head as Remus moved towards the church, a look of awe on his face as he looked at the magnificent structure. "I want to show you something."

"I'm going to stay here, there's something I want to do.." Remus trailed off, eyes looking a little sad.

Sirius raised his eyebrows but said nothing as he beckoned Harry to follow him and took the right fork in the road, of which was heavily shaded with trees. Harry smiled, stomach roiled with nerves as he followed his godfather down the path back into the bright sunlight.

From where they stood, they could see another street of houses, sitting opposite a play park that was currently packed to the rafters for the sun that beamed down upon the houses. Almost on autopilot, Harry stepped towards the green gate that surrounded the park and moved his hand along the painted metal.

Had his father once played here as a child, had he hung from the monkey bars and kicked his legs on the swings? Had his hand once clutched the gate that Harry had, sweaty with excitement at the promise of playing out with his friends? Sirius stepped beside him and placed a warm hand on his shoulder, grounding him.

"Ah your father and I always used to play here." Sirius reminisced, coming to stand beside Harry as they watched the children at play, excited shrieks reaching out to them. "Well, pull pranks anyway. You don't even want to know how many times the exasperated local bobby had to take us home to James' mother over the years." Sirius laughed throatily.

Harry smiled, heart racing as he turned to Sirius. Sirius looked at him knowingly and reached out to ruffle his hair, hands falling to his side.

"You look so much like your father it scares me. Except for the eyes, you have,-"

"My mothers eyes," Harry whispered throatily. "I know..."

Sirius smiled sadly and turned away from the park, looking up at the houses with a desperate kind of nostalgia that took Harry by surprise. Never, in all his years, had he ever seen such a look upon somebody's face. That look spoke volumes.

Pain, sadness and love. Even after all these years.

"Sirius..." Harry said softly, looking up at his godfather.

"Mmmm?" Sirius turned to face Harry and smiled weakly at him.

"Where did my dad live? I mean, his house, is it still here?"

Sirius smiled and placed an arm around Harry's quivering shoulders. Harry didn't know why he was shaking but now that he was here, in his fathers childhood village he felt something he'd never felt before. He felt as if his parents had actually existed and weren't just some figment of everyone's imagination.

A fairy tale.

Sirius nodded, understanding in his eyes and began to walk around the park, towards a small row of colourful houses. Harry's stomach churned with nerves as he took in the small cottages with the cobbled garden walls and the gardens in full bloom with fat little garden gnomes and small ponds.

Which one was his fathers?

Sirius rounded a corner onto what looked to be a small village square. Opposite a convenience store, a chip shop and a pharmacy, stood the biggest house out of what Harry had seen since arriving at Catton. Unlike all the other houses, this one was made out of stone, with honeysuckle and moss creeping up the front and spreading around the windows.

The front garden was overgrown, with weeds creeping over the winding garden path. The front door was thick and wooden, with thick metal bolts that reminded Harry of an old medieval castle. The gate squeaked as Sirius pushed open the old, metal gate and turned to smile reassuringly at Harry.

"Welcome home, Harry." Sirius smiled, looking up at the windows with shining eyes.

Harry's heart raced as he moved up the garden path, picking through the weeds and moss that lined the floor. His hand moved to the front door and he fingered the brass plaque that sat just under the letterbox. The inscription, rusted from age read,_ Potter._

Harry stared up at the house with longing, his father and then Sirius had lived here. This was where his father had spent his childhood before Hogwarts, where he had spent many summers with Sirius and most likely Remus and Peter. His throat tightened and to his horror, his eyes began to sting. Sirius wrapped an arm around his shoulders as he too, stared at the house with a deep kind of sadness that hurt Harry to even look at.

"I hate him," Harry muttered as he stared up at the house. "Voldemort, and Wormtail. If it wasn't for them, I would know my parents."

Harry found himself voicing the thoughts that had plagued him since stepping into Catton and finding out that this was his father's childhood home. He felt absolutely awful, tainted. He shouldn't be having thoughts like this. Did this make him as bad as Voldemort himself? Did hating somebody, make him less human somehow?

Sirius shook his head and smiled sadly. He squeezed Harry's shoulder tighter and shuddered under the weight of emotion that was rolling from Harry in waves.

"No you don't. Not really. You hate what they did, you don't have it in you to hate, Harry." Sirius said, eyes shining.

Harry sighed and sat down on the low garden wall, unable to take his eyes off of the big stone house Sirius followed suit, his side warm against Harry's as they stared up at the building. If Muggles passing could have seen them, they would never guess the deep importance that the house would have held for the pair and indeed, would have perhaps found it a bit strange that two random people were sitting, staring into the windows of an abandoned house.

"It's just, I wish they were here, Sirius. More than anything." said Harry, bowing his head in shame.

Next to him, Sirius sighed and wrapped an arm back around his shoulders.

"But they are here, Harry. In here," Sirius pointed to his head. "And in here." Sirius pressed a warm hand against Harry's chest, right above his heart. "No matter what happens, your parents are with you and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Harry said nothing, just concentrated on the house before him as the sounds of nature and the children playing washed over him. Sirius sighed and stood up, extending a hand for Harry to take. Harry took the offered hand and stood up.

"We better go and find Remus." Sirius said softly, casting a look of longing at the house. "We don't want to leave him alone in that Church for too long."

Harry quirked an eyebrow at Sirius as he cast one more longing look at the house and followed Sirius out of the squeaky gate.

"Remus had a girlfriend that lived here," Sirius explained. "Not long before your parents died, she was murdered by Voldemorts Death Eaters. He never really got over it."

Harry's heart broke for his surrogate godfather. Could that man never catch a break? Sirius smiled understandingly as they walked down the cobbled street that lead back to the park and then the church, where Remus was nowhere in sight.

"Come on," Sirius muttered, walking through the large black gate and walking around the side of the gate.

Harry followed, looking around wearily. His heart was in his mouth as the gravestones seemed to grow and loom above him. The church blocked the sun from reaching the back, making all seem dark and gloomy as they stepped into the small graveyard at the back of the church.

A familiar feeling of panic set in as they walked through the graves. His breathing quickened as he was inundated with flashbacks of his time in the graveyard. Sirius saw but said nothing as they walked through the graveyard towards a small figure crouched in front of a gravestone.

Harry tried to calm his frantically beating heart as Sirius approached Remus and crouched down next to him, whispering a few words. He smiled and beckoned Harry over. Slowly, cautiously, Harry approached the gravestone and looked with some interest at the name in the small, stone headstone.

MARISSA SCOTT

_FOREVER MISSED, NEVER FORGOTTEN_

BORN 12 MARCH 1960

DIED 27 OCTOBER 1981

Harry eyed the tombstone with sadness as Remus straightened up and smiled at Harry. How many people had actually died at Voldemorts hands? Would people continue to die now that Voldemort was back. This further stiffened Harry's resolve as Remus' eyes shone with the loss of his first love. His resolve to rid the world of Voldemort once and for all.

For he knew, that it was his duty, his destiny to rid the world of Voldemort. He had known from the moment he found out how his parents died that he would have to be the one to kill the Dark Lord.

He frowned when he saw the wild panic in Harry's eyes and they widened in understanding.

"Let's go, then." he said softly, looking out of the corner of his eye at a trembling Harry.

Sirius noticed too and wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulder as they left the graveyard and headed towards where their big, rusty van was sat, glinting in the blazing sunlight.

* * *

The nervous knots in Harry's stomach made way for excitement as they drove past the huge tourist sign that read _"Welcome to Blackpool". _They drove through the town centre, which was crawling with tourists, past some arcades and until finally, they saw the sea. A huge pier jutted out into the sea. A huge number of rides sat on the pier, including the famous Big Dipper roller coaster.

Harry remembered Dudley bragging about going on it one year. He looked doubtfully at the old, wooden structure. How was it still standing? To Harry's disappointment, they drove past the beach and down a narrow street, on which there seemed to be several caravan parks.

He smiled with excitement as Remus turned into one of these parks that read _"Sunnyvale Parks". _Sirius seemed just as excited as Harry as they turned into a small, tarmac car park and entered the main office, which was covered in leaflets, detailing the things to do in Blackpool. A plump, cheerful looking man sat behind the desk, reading a newspaper.

He sat up and smiled at the trio as they entered and cautiously approached the desk, looking at all the activities available. To the left, was a big glass door that looked into an outdoor pool. The strong, almost overpowering smell of chlorine wafted through. He swallowed, he hoped Remus and Sirius didn't expect him to go swimming.

"Hi, er, is where we book in?" Sirius said, unsure of what to say.

"Of course, may I have your name and the duration of your stay, please?" the man said in a booming voice that reminded Harry of Hagrid.

"It's Black and we're here for two days."

The man clapped his hands together and smiled as he turned to an ancient looking computer and scrolled through pages of what Harry guessed were probably guest reservations. His eyes lit up as he came across Sirius' name.

"Ah, here it is. Black, party of three. Two days. Here are your keys, you're in Cedar Grove, number 110."

He handed Sirius a pair of keys and a plastic envelope that contained a welcome booklet, a map, three passes that had leisure pass on the front. Harry grinned as they thanked the cheerful man and left the office, stepping into the glorious sunshine once more.

They got back into the car, Remus getting frustrated as they wove through the numerous caravans, people staring as Remus' rather colourful language drifted through the open windows. Harry sniggered but quickly covered it as Remus turned and glared at him.

Sirius, on the other hand, was openly laughing, clutching his stomach as Remus got more lost and more frustrated as they were no closer to finding Cedar Grove. Remus sighed and pulled over, grabbing the map from Sirius' hands as he tried to figure out how to get to their caravan.

Finally, after much grumbling and swearing, Remus smiled and put the car into drive again, rattling down a small gravel drive round a corner of caravans and into another. He smiled as the sign for Cedar Grove came into view and Remus pulled to a stop of a rather large caravan with 110 on the door.

They stepped into the caravan, sighing in relief as the cool air hit them. Remus immediately rushed off to find the bathroom and Sirius flopped down on to the built in sofa, propping his feet on the small armchair. Harry smiled and sat down next to Sirius, looking around the caravan with great interest.

The living room was long and boasted a built in sofa, a small, circular dining table with booth like seats and a small television. Paisley curtains hung at the windows. The room opened into a small kitchenette which lead to the other rooms at the other end of the caravan. It was then, that Harry realised he was desperate for the toilet.

He jumped up, crossing his legs and ran from the room, Sirius chortling heavily behind him. He ran down the hall to the only closed door and banged on it, eliciting a small, unmanly shriek to float towards him.

"Remus, hurry up. I need to pee!" Harry shouted, not caring who heard.

He heard a snicker from inside the bathroom and Remus exited the bathroom, hair sticking up in all directions as he stared down at Harry in amusement. He pushed past Remus and slammed into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

With Sirius, you could never be too careful.

When he was done relieving himself, Harry stepped out of the bathroom, into the narrow hallway. Opposite him, were two short wooden doors with one at the end. He opened the first door, stepping into a small bedroom with two twin beds. The room next door held the same. At the end, was a room with a double bed. He smirked. He was looking forward to the argument that would no doubt erupt between the two men.

Smiling, Harry made his way down the hall but stopped at the door when he heard his name mentioned.

"He's getting worse," Remus whispered. "I saw his face when we were in that graveyard. It was as if he wanted to bolt."

He heard Sirius sigh and could almost imagine him running his hand through his hair.

"I know, but you know Harry would rather chew off his own arm than accept help."

Having heard enough, Harry stood into the room, wiping his sweaty palms on his shorts and offering Sirius and Remus a terse smile. He didn't see the point in getting angry, they were just looking out for him after all.

"Hey, kiddo. Ready to go out?" Sirius asked, coming over to Harry and wrapping an arm around Harry's shoulders.

"Yeah, sure. Can we go to the beach?"

Harry had never been to the beach and was rather looking forward to it. To feel the wind in his hair and the sand between his toes. He wanted to breathe in the sea air and run into the ocean like he had seen in movies. He wanted the whole beach experience.

Remus smiled and nodded and Sirius let out a small shriek.

"Of course we can," Remus said kindly. "let me just get some stuff ready."

So they waited as Remus packed water bottles, sandwiches, sunscreen and a wallet full of Muggle money into a picnic basket. Finally, after Sirius badgering Remus, they set off to the beach, driving through the streets that held the amusement arcades and the funfair rides until the familiar smell of salt air hit their noses.

The beach was packed. It seemed the world and his dog had decided to flock to the beach in their droves. Harry smiled in amazement as they walked down the steps that lead to the golden sand and for the first time ever, the soft sand sunk through his bare toes.

Along the side, shops and ice cream shacks lined the edge, along with rides and some amusements. The famous Blackpool tower towered over the lot of them, spiralling high into the aquamarine sky.

Everywhere he looked, people lay sunbathing on stripy towels or children made sandcastles, shrieking when their older siblings knocked them over. Some people sat watching the sea with smiles on their faces as they licked huge ice creams and some old couples snuggled together, watching their grandchildren play with pride and happiness on their features.

Harry sat down on the warm, soft sand and picked it up, allowing it to fan through his outstretched his fingers. He loved it, the sights, the sounds, the smells. The smell of fish and chips assaulted Harry's nostrils, causing his stomach to growl loudly.

He grinned sheepishly at Remus and Sirius, both of whom grinned at him in amusement.

"Well, it seems out Mini-Maruader here is hungry so how about fish and chips. You can't go to the seaside without it!" Sirius suggested hopefully.

Remus rolled his eyes but handed Sirius a twenty pound note, stating firmly that under no circumstances was he to spend it on donuts or amusements until they were finished on the beach. While Sirius went off to find a fish bar, Harry and Remus settled back into the sand, staring up at the blinding sky.

They descended into a comfortable silence, content to just sit and allow the sights and sounds of Blackpool Beach to wash over them in a pleasant wave. Remus turned and smiled at him, eyes shining with a happiness that had been absent for so very long.

"How are you liking Blackpool, Harry?" Remus asked softly, smiling at Harry.

"I think it's amazing," Harry said honestly.

"I thought you'd say that," Remus chuckled. "Your father was exactly the same. He was your age when he came to Blackpool for the first time and his reaction was exactly the same. You're more like your father than you realise, Harry."

Harry grinned. He loved hearing things about his father, it reminded him that his father had once lived.

Sirius arrived with three steaming paper trays of fish and chips, the smell assaulting Harry's empty stomach. He fell on the food and closed his eyes in bliss as the golden fish melted on his tongue, the salty chips, cooked to perfection were the perfect combination of soft and fluffy. He'd never tasted something so delicious.

When they were finished on the beach, they decided to explore the pier where all the rides and amusements were. They spent a the next few hours going on the rides, including the big wheel, which gave them a view of the whole of Blackpool which made for a very beautiful sight. Sirius swore he could see their caravan from where they were sitting.

After that they jumped into the ride for the famous roller-coaster of Blackpool The Big Dipper. Remus looked nervous as they came to the front where people were being loaded into the carts, pushing each other and chatting excitedly.

Harry grinned and got into a cart, Sirius beside him, leaving Remus to get in behind him alone. He could practically feel the fear coming from Remus and smirked. Who would have thought that Remus Lupin, werewolf and marauder was afraid of roller-coasters?

The ride started, the clicking sound of the wheels on the tracks, causing Remus to swallow loudly. Harry turned and laughed out loud when he saw Remus clutching at the bar in front of him as if his life depended on it. Sirius turned and snickered at Remus' stricken expression.

The cart reached the top, stopped and then suddenly dropped. Remus screamed loudly and Sirius and Harry laughed as the wind rushed through their hair, whipping it backwards out of their faces as the roller-coaster moved about the tracks at indecent speed.

Remus was screaming like a little bitch and Harry was laughing so hard he feared he may break his ribs as the ride finally came to a jerking halt, causing everybody to jerk forwards almost painfully.

"Never again," Remus mumbled as they stepped off the roller coaster cart. "Don't ever ask me to do that again!"

Harry and Sirius snickered as Remus continued to sulk.

The rest of the day went by rather quickly and soon, darkness was starting to fall upon them. To Harry's disappointment, the Blackpool illuminations failed to make an appearance so they were forced to traipse back to the caravan, the sea air ruffling their hair.

Harry smiled as he climbed into the fresh smelling covers and stared up at the ceiling. Remus and Sirius were still arguing about the double room and it was this, combined with the soft sound of the wind buffeting the caravan windows that had Harry falling into Morpheus' arms.

* * *

**Well, another chapter and ten pages long! I was going to do the entire holiday in just one chapter but changed my mind and decided to split it into two. Thanks for the reviews on previous chapters! I am so sorry I took so long to update. I never have and never will abandon my stories.**


	5. Rage

**Phoenix Burning**

_Patronusmagic_

* * *

_The smell of sulphur and something more potent, like rotting meat filled the air, swirling and twisting in the air like a thick tornado of noxious gasses. It was dark, the kind of dark that wrapped around your lungs and heart, squeezing and squeezing like a boa constrictor. _

_An owl cooed, causing a jolt of fear to go through Harry, who clutched his wand tightly in his sweaty palms. On shaky legs, Harry stepped forwards through the thick gasses, coughing as the gasses stung his lungs. How had he got here? The last thing he remembered was going to bed in Blackpool and now he was in this sulphur pit, or that's what it looked like at least._

_Harry was suddenly very aware of his heart thumping in his chest, of his pulse pounding in his ears and of his laboured breathing. He felt as if thousands of pairs of eyes were watching him through the clouds of sulphur, waiting to pounce. Fear started trickling its way down Harry's spine and he abruptly stopped as he felt someone by the side of him, hidden by the obscure gas tornadoes._

"_Show yourself," Harry called, his voice echoing rather loudly. _

_He raised his wand higher in his hands, trying desperately to see through the gloom. Then out of nowhere, came a sight that struck terror through Harry's very soul, constricting his throat and making it near impossible to breathe._

_Through the gloom, appeared hundreds of elongated shadows, flickering eerily in the iridescent light that was exuded from the strange gas clouds. His palms started to sweat as the shadow people came nearer and without thinking twice, Harry whirled round, prepared to run._

_His heart sunk when he realised he was surrounded, these shadow things were getting closer and closer, becoming more defined as they stepped through the clouds, seemingly unaffected by the thick, suffocating mass of gasses and vapour._

_He turned a full circle, desperately trying to find a gap through the shadow people as they all seemed to chant something, a haunting staccato of low moaning, mumbled words, that mixed together into one long crescendo as they became louder and louder, more insistent and quick._

"_Well, if it isn't Harry Potter," _

_The voice sent a shot of fear and terror drilling straight into Harry's heart. He would recognise that voice anywhere. Only one person could have a voice so high, so cold, so laced with evil and sick, perverted pleasure._

_Lord Voldemort stepped through the gloom, long black cloak trailing over the years of accumulated dead leaves and rotting mulch, much like a serpent would streak gracefully through a forest. His snake like face was twisted into an evil smirk, the red, snake like eyes held no mercy as he advanced on Harry, wand twirled between his elongated fingers like a conductor's baton._

"_I see that you have met my shadow people, Harry. They are of my creation, completely bent to my will. They take no orders from anybody else."_

_Harry was now trembling, stomach churning as his heart clenched painfully in his chest as it prepared itself for death. Voldemort stepped closer to Harry, so close so that Harry could feel his hot, rancid breath on his cheek._

"_Goodbye, Harry Potter." Voldemort whispered, with a long, shrieked string of barely eligible Latin, Voldemort threw his wand to the skies and Harry was thrown through space._

Harry sat up with a gasp, the sweaty sheets entangled with his limbs which were flailing all over the place as the last vestiges of panic coursed through Harry and his heart thudded frantically in his chest as it made a vain attempt to vacate his chest cavity.

His breaths came in short; sharp gasps and his eyes scanned the dark room wildly as he was overwhelmed with the strong feeling that somebody was watching him. Swallowing the nausea that was threatening to surface, Harry slid shakily from his sweaty sheets and padded across the stifling room, feeling blindly for the door.

He almost sighed in relief when he entered the cool hallway that lead to the kitchen and his feet found the cold but sticky linoleum. He crept down the corridor, resolutely ignoring the dark shapes outside that were the city of caravans.

Gulping down large lungfuls of air, Harry entered the dimly lit living area, which was lit by the single light bulb that hung stiffly from the ceiling. Takeaway containers and empty beer bottles littered the rickety coffee table but Harry just brushed them aside as he sat down on the squishy sofa and rested his feet on the table, staring blindly up at the ceiling.

There hadn't been any respite from the crippling nightmares since they had started just after Harry had emerged from the maze just last month. In fact, as the days wore on, Harry found that the nightmares were getting worse. Cedric's horrified face as he was hit with simulated death haunted every waking and sleeping moment and Harry felt the guilt that he carried weigh heavy upon his shoulders, like he was carrying heavy boulders.

Cedric still prowled after him, standing in corners of the room, staring right through him but never talking to him. Every time, the sight sent a jolt of terror straight through Harry that had him running for the nearest toilet. Harry didn't even feel like Harry anymore, he felt changed, tainted. What had happened in that maze had left him unscrewed and liable to collapse at any moment.

He hated it; he hated being on edge, jumping at the slightest sound, struggling to fall asleep, only to fall through suffocating darkness into the land of nightmares, where his fears were distorted and magnified beyond comprehension. The television creaked as the metal inside cooled and Harry jumped heart jolting painfully in his chest. He felt the space where he could the desperate thump-thump of it underneath the soft material of his pyjamas vest and closed his eyes, willing himself to relax.

It had started to rain, the gentle pitter patter hitting the metal roof calmed Harry's nerves somewhat and he found his eyes closing as the gentle hum of the sea wind buffeted at the old, rusty caravan.

Harry was shaken awake several hours later by a worried looking Sirius. He sat up abruptly, instantly cursing himself as he was engulfed with a wave of vertigo that had him reeling. Wincing, he smiled weakly at Sirius and stretched his tired muscles, lifting his eyebrows when he found himself in the living room.

But then he remembered the night prior, that nightmare, creeping through the dark hall and falling asleep on the old, lumpy sofa. Remus stood at Sirius' shoulder, an amused smile on his face. Harry rolled his eyes and pushed past the both of them as he headed for the bathroom.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror and glared at the face that stared back at him. His face, though always having been thin, was now positively gaunt, with patches of purple underneath his eyes, which bloomed like irises underneath his baggy eye lids.

His skin, though naturally pale now lacked any colour or warmth. He looked vaguely like an old vampire that he had seen _in Dark Creatures of the Most Evil. _Whatever this thing that was haunting him was slowly killing him. A sudden jolt of anger shot through Harry and he found himself consumed with a blinding, dizzying rage.

With an almost inhuman growl, he clenched his fist and punched the mirror. The resulting impact caused the glass to shatter and ricochet across the room with impressive speed, a loud crack echoed throughout the room and this only further intensified his rage. He punched the wall, causing chunks of plaster to fly down to the floor, making it look vaguely like snow.

The door flew open, bouncing off of the wall with a resounding crash. Just like that, Harry's rage evaporated to be replaced with a primal fear. He dropped his fists and backed himself into a corner, cowering as he threw his hands over his head. He could feel the cold of the wall pressing itself into his back as his T-shirt rode up and fear continued to consume him.

Whoever had entered seemed to have paused to take in their surroundings. Then with an almost sinister series of thumping footsteps and crunching of broken glass, they slowly approached Harry, who had all but prepared himself to die.

"Harry?"

Harry's trembling lessened and he looked up into Remus' amber eyes, flecked with gold that were currently full of warmth and concern. Harry's eyes roved up Remus' face to the doorway, where Sirius stood, looking sick as he watched his godson cower in a corner.

Remus reached a steady hand towards Harry's hand, retracting it hastily when Harry flinched, throwing his hands over his head. Harry tried to show Remus with his eyes that he was sorry and thankfully, Remus seemed to understand.

"What's happening to me, Remus?" Harry asked hoarsely, "I feel like I'm going mad."

Remus slowly reached out and took Harry's profusely bleeding hand. His eyes exuded warmth and kindness.

"I don't know, Harry. But we are going to get you help, you're not alone."

* * *

**So, this ending ended up kind of anti-climactic but hey, good news! I have a laptop now so updates should be quicker! Thanks as always for the reads and comments! **


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